What eleven years of motherhood have taught me...
Plus some new ideas for days out covering a range of ages.
Yesterday we celebrated another year around the sun for my first born. He turned eleven which just blows my mind. (You can read chapter 10 here.) In a moment of cliché I told him: “I remember the day you were born as if it were yesterday.” I remember the build up to labour, the excited anticipation. Having a warm bath, ringing my mum and then eventually going into hospital at 3am. Midwives bustling around; and finally meeting our perfect baby boy, a head of dark hair, smooth skin and inquisitive eyes.
Now here we are. Eleven years later and as I do on every birthday, I reflect on the years that have passed. The candles that have been blown out, the presents that have been unwrapped, various party organising and those missed family members who we have lost over the years. It got me thinking about how my parenting has changed since that very first day, holding a warm, squirming bundle of newness and the huge responsibility we were undertaking.
Surely now after eleven years I have this all figured out?
Just before my son’s first birthday, I left my job in a garden centre that I had had since I was sixteen. It wasn’t the career I had in mind having completed my degree in Children and Young Persons. Trouble was, I didn’t know what job I did want to do. Right now I had a brand new baby and I couldn’t see past being a mother. I took a job in our local supermarket and hated it. When I applied the hours seemed easy to fit around our new little family and I thought it would be a job where I could just go to work, earn some money and then come home and focus on being a mum. Turned out I did bring work home with me because I was so unhappy in that role. I wanted a career but I also wanted to be a full time mum. Hard juggle right? I also remember seeing other women at baby groups who seemed to be so in control of their lives. I was the youngest mother at these groups and thought that I couldn’t wait to be older and have it figured out. So perhaps now after eleven years I have?
Well, er, no, not really. But I am realising that no-one really has it figured out and we will be happy with our lot. Parenting never gets easier, the worries and challenges just change.
I actually find this stage quite hard. They are no longer young enough to believe every word we say and it is a lot harder to utter threats like “if you don’t listen and sit at the table I will tell Santa”, for example. They are a bit more aware of themselves and like to push boundaries. I also feel a lot of pressure at this age to keep up with school work. When they were in first school, Reception/Year1, it was all about playing, building those all important friendships and having fun while feeling safe. Now, they actually have to perform well at school. The maths homework sometimes has me bamboozled and I dread it when he asks for help on a question in case I don’t know the answer. That does happen. Maths is not my strong point.
There are of course many wonderful things about treading over to the double digit side. He is good company if we go out for a meal, a trip to the cinema or on a long walk. He is good company pretty much all of the time except for when he doesn’t like something we have said, such as “time for bed” or “can you lay the table for tea please?” I can enjoy a day out in Newcastle without having to pack wipes, spare clothes and ask him over and over if he needs the toilet. He is old enough now to manage this himself 😜
It is also amazing to see their personalities come into their own. New hobbies, making friends and being given some freedom to play out a bit later and go to a friend’s house without having to be escorted by mum or dad. I actually loved being ten/eleven myself. Might even go as far as saying they were my favourite years? I hope Charlie is enjoying his just as much. He seems to be.
Happy 11th Birthday my wonderful 🐻
New days out inspiration!
I was struggling with ideas for days out during the last school holidays. The weather was rubbish and uninspiring. I used to write a blog about days out, perhaps you read it? And yet, over the last couple of years I have found it hard to find a ‘good’ day out that all three kids would enjoy. You see, they are quite spread out in age. Which seemed a good idea at first, but now I’m starting to wonder…
For reference our children are 3, 7 and 11.
In desperation of finding that perfect day out I contemplated forking out lots of money for a theme park kind of day out. They did all love Flamingo Land when we went last October. But we can’t keep that up throughout the summer holidays can we?
The one thing we all seem to be enjoying at the moment is driving to a remote part of Northumberland, unpacking a picnic and simply just running around, letting off steam in the cool north east air.
Between now and the summer, I shall try to share as many day out ideas for a range of ages to help you plan for the holidays along with me.
Sound good?
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